#or else i literally deserve to die hfbfbf
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#i hate how fucking. mundane my blacking out/memory loss nightmares are#cuz they feel so fucking real and i just cant handle that#like oh yea u lost like half a day. what u did during that time? u dropped a cake and didnt do ur chores. u bastard.#like thats literally how it goes fhshshhsh its me doing mildly annoying shit bc i cant fucking get my brain right and feeling horrible#just like. in real life jdbdbdb but like. idk chdhdh#i think my main problem is that i dont have any emotional resilience#like between the poverty and having no job and my mom being. my mom. i just feel like i have to be at my best always.#or else i literally deserve to die hfbfbf#and like. i know that isnt true. LOGICALLY. but in my heart its the only thing that makes sense#anyway. lol hahaha#txt
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